Diana and Caine's First Date
by PennytheMonsterBringer
Summary: A comedy of Diana and Caine's first date. Set before the FAYZ. Rated T for no reason other than I don't really think this is for kids. Caina and Caistrid!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a complete comedy of Diana and Caine's first date. Please review and tell me what you think.**

I was walking down the streets of Perdido Beach with my boyfriend, Caine Soren. It was a big relief because school was over for the week and I now had my weekend of relaxation. Before that, in just a few minutes, Caine and I would go to some Mexican restaurant that Caine liked, it was our first date.

We entered the door of Taqueria Grandesa, the Mexican.  
"Table for how many?" The man at the door asked.  
"Two," I replied.  
"No three," Caine said.  
"What?"  
"Play along," Caine hissed.  
"Okay, come over here," the man said as he showed us to our table.  
"What on earth is going on?"  
"I want you to meet my other girlfriend, Astrid Ellison."  
"What, who is that?"  
"My other girlfriend."  
"You are cheating on me?"  
"No, I am deciding which girlfriend I prefer."  
"Wait, you are going out with both of us, that is cheating."  
"No it is not, I don't cheat! I take advantage of opportunities."  
"We are thirteen, Caine! That is too young to break a girl's heart."  
"No it isn't, I have already broken Macey's, Harriet's, Jordanne's, Chelsea's, Cortney's, Carlie's, Neveah's, Chloe's, Catrina's-"  
"I get the point!"  
"I still have another thirty to mention," Caine sniffed.  
"What, all the chavs in Coates and Perdido beach?"  
"Yep!"  
"Caine, I thought you had a better taste in girls."  
"No, I like the overly made up type."  
"Does that include me?"  
"Yep!"  
"When is this Astrid girl arriving?"  
"Now!" Caine exclaimed as a tall curvy girl with ginger hair walked through the door.  
"Is that her?" I asked, knowing I couldn't compete with her.  
"No, the one behind her."  
I looked again. Behind the ginger girl stood a slightly smaller, blonde girl with glasses. She looked like a complete nerd and held a textbook bigger than her head in her arms. She approached our table.  
"Hello," she said in a typical nerd voice, "my name is Astrid Jane Roberta Alice Nora Gwendoline Darrel Jennifer Elizabeth Victoria Isabella Francis Katherine Geraldine Mary Lacey Maisie Helena Ellison, but most people call me Astrid the Genius."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviewing! I love it when you review, it makes me happy! You obviously like this idea. If you want you can PM me aswell! Do what you want, you don't have to review but I love it if you do.**

I was shocked, how could my boyfriend Caine want to go out with the queen of nerds? I couldn't believe he even could consider her! It was a sin, not that I was holy but still, she was so unattractive. I knew I had to fight for my no good boyfriend, Caine. I loved him so much, even though I didn't let it show. As for Astrid, she was probably over excited to be on a date. I had had many before, but having a date with Caine was more exciting than going with the other lame boyfriends I had I the past.  
"Astrid, baby! This is my other girlfriend, Diana!" Shouted Caine, everyone turned and stared. "I am picking my girlfriend! Seriously, I do t need an audience."  
"Well, that female friend of yours seems to be rather mercenary and chavvy. Sorry, the word chav is slang but I simply couldn't find another word to fit her. She is just so chavvy," Astrid told Caine.  
"And you are one to talk, in a geeky voice as well! And those glasses are mank. I hate the style you use. It is so swotty, geeky, nerdy and dorkish," I interrupted.  
"She also seems to be rather, I apologise for having to use this word, but, bitchy."  
"What you calling me?"  
"A mean girl, also a female dog."  
"Ha, you don't want to mess with Diana Ladris. Also there is nothing in between! And why do you wear dork glasses and talk so weirdly?"  
"I wear glasses as a fashion statement, to push my obvious personality, like you do with eyeliner and fake tan. My horrible speech is due to my retainer. I only have to wear it for another six months."  
"Who wears glasses as a fashion statement?"  
"Me, it shows my intellectual level."  
"Sure, think what you want..."  
"Your fake tan shows obvious lack of intelligence and the fact that you care a lot about looks."  
"I am clever," I said defensively, "I only got a C in my summer exams. Everything was a C. No Ds or Fs this term."  
"I got straight A stars. If you think C is good, you must be stupid. I would commit suicide if I got anything lower than an A."  
"No need for bickering, neither of you are perfect," Caine interrupted.  
"I am," we replied in unison.  
"Oh shut up, what do you want to eat?"  
"A chicken burrito, with guacamole and sour cream," I replied.  
"I will go for, a king prawn taco platter, with mango salsa and pinto bean dip and of course guacamole and sour cream."  
"Okay, I got that, I will have a pork tostada bowl with everything."  
"Bye Caine, go order my food, but forget about Diana here. She doesn't need an ounce more fat," Astrid flirted.  
"Okay, Astrid, I may be curvy, but not fat. Just because I don't take some complicated medicine to lower something that helps me loose weight doesn't make me fat."  
"Whatever," Astrid replied trying to sound cool but doing that weird kids TV program voice.  
"Okay, little miss shapeless."  
"No need for cheek."

It went on like this four around ten minutes when Caine returned with the food.

"Thanks Caine," I said, then pecked him on the cheek, showing a sign of ownership.  
"Thanks, Caine baby," Astrid tried to flirt aswell, leaning over to kiss him on the lips.  
"Sorry, 'Strid, your breath stinks, no kissing," Caine defended.  
He was mine and she knew it.

**_competition: New character._**

**_i want a new character to come in, it should be a female of around 15. Caine has to love her. I need them to be funny, describe their attitude and reason for being at mecican. They should have something strange about them. Coolest one wins. Post on reviews or PM._**

**_Thanks,_**

**_Penny xoxo_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Congratulations to Breeze xxx! She gave me the coolest suggestion. So the person is going to have the surname Blue, from Randomer 123. I loved the name Kina Blue but preferred the personality of Ayla and I loved her first name so I kept that. So thanks to Breeze xxx and Randomer 123! I also liked the name Cara! So I made that her middle name. She is going to love books like Kina and be Spanish like Cara. So that's another thanks to Ladrisx! So yeah, a bit of a mix!**

**Also review people! I like reviews! They make me happy! So make me happy! Review!**

I could resist longer. I had to chuck a taco in Astrid's face. So, I did. That didn't result in the most kind reaction, do I topped her face with guacamole and sour cream.  
"Why, is there a point in this horrible, surprising, unfortunate event?"  
"I felt like it, you needed some make up, I sensed a breakout. Just being me, helping out..."  
"Do you take this seriously? Diana Ladris! You are so mean. I use anti viral infectionous deratonic facial scrub to prevent breakouts!"  
"Sorry, but even I know that spots are hormonal, not viral!"  
"Okay, my scrub also prevents moluscim contagiousus."  
"You don't seem to realise that the taco, guacamole and sour cream weren't there to cover up spots, do you?"  
"What, you lied! That is against the laws of Christianity!"  
"I am an atheist, chill."  
"What? Why are you talking about religion? You are meant to be fighting over me! Hello?" It was Caine, typically wanting attention.  
"I love you, Cainey!" Astrid exclaimed.  
"No, no, no go zone! I am not a baby."  
"You are my baby!"  
"Oh, that sounds wrong! I am meant to be your boyfriend, not your child."  
"Take a joke Caine!" With that she left.  
"I won, so, am I your girlfriend?" I asked Caine.  
"No, there is another round. You have to meet my third girlfriend!"  
"Who?"  
"I don't know yet. Maybe that girl there, or her, or maybe that goth?"  
"What?"  
"I am irresistible!"  
"Okay, no cockiness in that or any thing?"  
"A little, but I was being truthful!"

I sat at the table, silent, whilst Caine evaluated the other girls. He finally decided on a girl. She had dark brown hair. It was naturally curly and crazy. She had dark skin and large, wide green eyes. She appeared to be shy, but all over Caine. She was probably slightly older than me, maybe fourteen or fifteen.  
"Who is this one?" I asked Caine.  
"Ayla Cara Blue. She is Spanish."  
"Why her?"  
"She loves me, and she is pretty fit."  
"What about me? Am I not hit enough?"  
"You are fit, but I can tell you stuff your bra."  
"I do not," I lied defensively, blushing crimson. The girl Ayla sniggered.  
"Yeah yeah. But Ayla here is a natural beauty, not a faker like you. She only wears mascara, not eyeliner or foundation like you. She is also a normal skin colour, not orange."  
Ayla laughed.  
"As if she doesn't wear make up. All teenage girls do."  
"She doesn't. Like I said she is a natural beauty. She doesn't need to hide terrible skin like you do."  
Ayla laughed.  
"So, you don't love me anymore." I said, getting up to leave.  
"I do, Diana, please stay."  
"Now you are all over me! Typical."  
"Humph," Caine grunted in reply.  
Ayla shook her head.  
"Why?" I asked her.  
"I love Caine!"  
"Yep, I got that, but why laugh at me?"  
"Because Caine is so funny. I couldn't help but laugh."  
"Girl, if you want a boyfriend, don't go licking their feet."  
"You do! You haven't ditched him yet and he has already shown you two girls he loves."  
"Sorry, darling. He doesn't love you. I am his girlfriend. Caine is just messing."  
"Caine is a beautiful kind human."  
"Soppy," I mumbled.  
Caine returned to earth, away from his daymare that I would ditch him.  
"Did you call me unbeautiful?" Caine asked.  
"I don't think that is a word," I replied, "oh, god. I sound like Astrid."  
"Okay, do you think I am beautiful and kind?"  
"Of course!" Ayla replied.  
"I wasn't asking you!"  
"Oh sorry!"  
"Diana?"  
"Definitely! Very kind and even more beautiful!" I sarcastically replied.  
"Good, I have a joke, who wants to hear it?" He asked.  
"Me," Ayla replied.  
"Not me," I added.  
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" He started, ignoring my statement.  
"I don't know, why?" Ayla asked.  
"To get to the other side!"  
"That was so funny!" Ayla practically fell off her seat laughing.  
"Another?"  
"Yes!"  
"No!" I added, again ignored.  
"What is brown and sticky?"  
"I don't know! What?" Ayla asked.  
"A stick! Get it, brown and sticky?"  
Ayla couldn't reply, she was rolling on the floor laughing.  
"That's what I call serious ROFL," I stated.  
A teenage waitress, a similar age to Caine approached our table.  
"What the heck?" She asked.  
"Hey Dekka!" Ayla exclaimed.  
"Hi, Ayla, why are you rolling on the floor laughing?"  
"My new boyfriend is so funny!"  
"Really?"  
"No," I replied, "he uses 'what's brown and sticky?'"  
"Wow? What is brown and sticky?"  
"A stick!" Caine repeated.  
Dekka joined Ayla, rolling on the floor laughing.  
"Oh god." I mumbled, if only this date was over!


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while! but i wrote some more! and i would live reviews! And yes, I did go hyper when I wrote this chapter...**

To be honest. I couldn't stick this any more. I knew it was all a joke, but Caine was being nothing but a big fat pain. I got up to leave for the second time tar evening, just with the hope that Caine would stay with his stupid annoying girlfriend who he only met. I placed my leather jacket on, covering my red, lace tank top and wiped the fallen guacamole of my black skinny jeans. I started to make my way towards the door of the restaurant, without saying good bye to Caine. He didn't deserve a good bye, be deserved a bad bye. He didn't ever deserve a bye he just deserved a bad. A bad nothing, just a bad.

I open the door from the stuffy restaurant into the fresh air of the outside world. The sky had turned Navy and the stars twinked like diamonds, just how I liked it. Ascribe the road I say a blonde girl crying. Then I realised it was Astrid, sniggering under my breath. I walked over to join her, just because I had itching better to do at 11 o'clock at night.

"Hello assy!" I greeted her, earning a disapproving look. "Tough that Caine ditched you, I ditched him! So, you can go suck up to him again."  
"I would rather not Ladris. To be fair. I would rather this happened," she said, leaping towards me, her hands in fists. She had me pinned to the ground.  
"Whoa! Calm the blueberries!" I told her, slightly taken aback.  
"No, the one thing I never told anyone is I am a gangster girl. I know how to fight!"

I was a little scared. The last thing I had expected was Astrid to be a gangster! But I could challenge her. I was after all, a biker.

"You wanna mess with the boss of Coates MC?" I asked, she immediately backed off.  
"No, but we have our way of challenging here at Perdido Beach," she began, I rolled my eyes, "a dance off!"

I was blasting out moves! I had taken off my coat and was now in my dress, but after removing the skirt, I revealed my play suit. It wa perfect for a dance off. Astrid was standing, her arms folded, showing concentration as she looked at my cool moves. Then it was her go, she switched the music to Gangnam Style, by PSY. I was shocked at how well she could do the dance, she found Gangnam dance! I was so jealous. But my solution, was to shuffle. I hit the button, the button that directed me to none other than... PARTY ROCK ANTHEM!


End file.
